With Kareena Kapoor taking self-love to another level with her line “Mein Apni Favourite hun” (I am my favourite) to the more socially aware individuals of today embracing & highlighting the importance of self-love & not giving attention to what others say/think, there’s another spin-off of this trend on the rise, a result of not getting this concept right- the rise of Narcissism!
Do you know if you have 50% negative thoughts about yourself, you are borderline depressive but if you have 90% positive thoughts about yourself, you are very much a narcissist? ?
I am all for self-love & firmly believe its the best gift you can give to yourself BUT, you see, there’s only a fine line between this & Narcissism & recently this line seems to be getting blurrier than ever.
Self-love that is based on real achievement, the ability to face disappointment & accept the support of social ties is totally worth it but it becomes a problem when one starts thriving on admiration from others & upon not getting it, thinks everyone is jealous of their success as one believes they are just great.
We should be very careful with the message of “putting yourself first” as every one may not have the same perspective, the same humility as you & might confuse it with giving undue importance to one’s self & overpraising. This may result in a brigade of self-indulged entitled individuals who think if anyone is telling them otherwise they are basically envious of them because they are the special ones as Mummy Daddy said so! ?. Yes, do tell your kids how special they are to boost their confidence but don’t just “confer” self-esteem upon them rather than letting them earn it through actual hard work.
So, if you have the power to influence anyone, preach self-love but also the difference between it & being self-centred. Tell them it’s a great predictor of satisfaction but never to take for granted the other important predictor of happiness: Having strong & supportive relationships; something you realise only as you mature. In this journey of prioritising yourself, remember not to leave the good connections behind as these very much form a significant part of self-care in your old age?
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